You’re Killing Your Own Self Care
And you most likely, don’t even realize you’re doing it. Mom, here is 3 ways this is accomplished, and how to stop it.Because seriously, you really need to stop it, Mom!
Sure, Mothers are busy. I can tell you this as truth, just as much as the next parent. it doesn’t mean not giving yourself the time you need to recharge is ok….or healthy.
Let’s dive into the mistakes you’re making that prevent you from any kind of needed Self Care.
“I don’t have time.”
This is the most commonly used excuse by parents. And to a point, it’s pretty true.
No, I don’t have time to do all the things I’d like to do. But who does?
Sure, most Moms would love a week-long vacation from chores. Or, a luxurious trip to a tropical paradise. It’s these types of things shown so much on social media, with captions like “Love my self care time!”
Realistically? That’s just Moms on social media. The average Mom would give anything just to take a bubble bath uninterrupted.
Self Care can be a variety of different things. Vacations, reading a book, or even just a few minutes of alone time. No matter how much time you do have to work with, you can always do something, just for yourself.
“I Don’t Need Time For Myself…”
This is a huge mistake a lot of Moms make.
I’m a big advocator of taking care of yourself, so you can care for others.
It’s really quite simple; you can’t pour from an empty cup. And it really doesn’t matter if you’re a working Mom, or a stay at home Mom. Both have equal, but different, challenges and at the end of the day? Both need to recharge their batteries, and refill their cups.
You need to be able to mentally relax, and rejuvenate. Everyone does! And it’s not making Life any easier, for anyone, if you deny yourself that.
“Doing housework alone is my self care time.”
I’m guilty of this, but I need to stop doing it.
Being a Mom is hard. Running a household is hard. Little ones ‘helping’ you with chores? Yeah, that makes it even harder.
So what do we end up doing? The laundry when the kids finally go to sleep, so the toddler doesn’t unfold the towels and throw the in a pile on the floor.
We mop in the middle of the night so no one walks on the wet floor (we just got the towels off of).
And yes, we pay bills during a late night episode of Grey’s, and totally miss the episode because we weren’t paying attention!
Result? Robbing ourselves of the time we could spend totally on refilling our cups, by working. And calling that ‘self care.’
And yes, it’s great to be able to finish chores alone – but why are we stealing from ourselves, and calling it self care?
If it’s not relaxing us, rejuvenating us, or leaving us feeling refreshed, it’s work. Not self care.
Focus On Yourself, Mom!
It’s not a bad thing to do. Not only do you need it for your own sanity, but your family does too. You’re able to be a better partner, and parent, when you’re feeling your best.
If you’re looking for ways to incorporate more self care into your daily routine, check these resources. There’s the monthly Oxford Momma Subscription Box! You can also learn how even a busy Mom can meditate. And here’s a Christmas Gift Guide for Mom with Self Care in mind!
It really doesn’t matter how you do it Mom. But you need to stop making the mistake of excuses…and just do it.
I am not a mom but I am guilty of using all of these excuses. I’m one of those people who just keeps going and I don’t stop to take time for myself.
I love this post and how real it is for so many of us moms! I am really guilty of falling into the doing house work or bills during my me time. While I feel better I got the things done, I don’t actually take those few minutes to just pour into myself which is actually what I need.
I am guilty of all three of these. Blogging has actually helped me focus on myself just a little bit more than I did before and hopefully try to give some tips to other parents struggling just like I was. Thanks for the reminder!!
I’ve been guilty of doing all three of these myself. Lately I’ve spent a lot of time learning that I need to step back and evaluate how I think and do things so that it doesn’t make things worse in the end.
Self-care is so, so important! I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older to make time for myself. I say, one hour out of twenty-four hours is doable and there is no excuse to put off. When you put it in perspective like that, you see how easy it is to actually take some time to focus on yourself whether it be exercising, meditating or just reading a book.
I try really hard not to do chores while my little one is at preschool or napping. I use that time for myself or to get other things done around the house that I enjoy doing.
You are right, self care is important and I believe exercise is a form of self care. Taking a walk, practicing yoga or lifting weights is a great way to take care of ourselves.
This is so true!! I kept doing all these things and it wasn’t helping at all. Now I make sure to spend time just doing things by myself that make me happy and knowing that the dishes can wait until after nap time so I can enjoy some binge watching!