5 Friends You Don’t Really Need Once You Turn 30…
With age comes maturity. With maturity, comes growth. And sometimes, friendships don’t survive the inevitable growth spurt…My 30th birthday is approaching faster than I’d like. But with the realization that a new era is on the brink, I’m reminded of things I’ve learned in the last few years. And, I’m surprised by some of the people who have grown with me…and those who haven’t.
So, this is a list of 5 types of friends I have decided that I don’t need on my journey anymore…and 5 types that I do!
You Don’t Need: The Gossip
She knows everyone’s business, and isn’t afraid to tell it. You suspect she might actually work for TMZ. This friend can tell you anything you’d ever want to know about your other friends, their husbands, that sweet old lady at church.. whether you want to know it or not.
If they gossip about others, trust me: They gossip about you… #gossip #looselips #friendships
You Do Need: The Planner
You need a friend who doesn’t have everyone else on their mind. They have their own goals, dreams and plans to talk about. Friends who share their aspirations can be motivating, and a breath of fresh air from those who just want to talk about people they don’t like. Together, you can concur the world!
You Don’t Need: The Drama Queen
She’s always fighting with her ex. Fighting with her current. Fighting with her sister. Plotting revenge on the guy who didn’t call her back, and loves to keep some drama going. Even if it involves telling you what so-and-so said (kinda like our friend The Gossip, but more malicious).
The world is her personal Jerry Springer episode, and whenever possible, she\’s the star… #dramaqueen #relationships #friendships
Friends like this only cause stress and anxiety. Ain’t nobody got time for that… especially if you have a family and career. Life is crazy enough, added drama is not necessary! Even if felt vicariously through another. Because truthfully, once that script runs dry, the Drama Queen may try to enlist you in an episode, and you don’t want that.
You Do Need: The Carefree…
Friends who enjoy life, and fun, are the perfect alternatives to the world of drama. They aren’t about stress, anxiety, or high-tempers. Carefree friends would rather spend time with their family, on their hobbies, on their goals – they avoid unnecessary conflicts at all costs, and have no time for the drama. instead of being the star of their own Soap Opera, they’d rather watch one with you (which is great, because that can actually be fun! Unlike helping your friend Facebook stalk that chick at Starbucks who smiled at her boyfriend…).
You Don’t Need: The One-Upper
Everyone knows a friend like this. You finally get a new(ish), but modest car that fits your needs. They immediately drive their new convertible BMW over to show off. You’re excited about your new job, and they remind you that their pay grade is higher than yours. You mention possibly repainting the kitchen, and your friend just remodeled the entire house before your sentence left your lips. Every idea or accomplishment you have, is automatically trumped by theirs.
You Do Need: The Cheerleader
This friend will congratulate and encourage you in every way! She’s happy you have a slightly better, but more affordable car, than the previous. She will want to hear all about your new job, no matter what it is, and will always help you with any project you have in mind. Her goal isn’t to do better than you, or remind you that she has.
You Don’t Need: The Downer
Friends don’t discourage you at every turn. A friend who shoots down your goals and dreams by calling them “stupid” or reminding you how impossible they are, isn’t a good friend. These types of people hate to see anyone progressing, and will try to discourage you from even trying. Thy bring up failures, and can’t ever agree with you. Even if it’s about deciding where to have lunch. Their ideas are the only right ones, and spoiler alert: they never include your input.
You Do Need: The Motivator
Motivation is the best way to inspire and encourage, and this friend is always there! You wanna start working out? She won’t remind you of the 3 lackluster attempts at Pilates – she signs up with you! Even if you quit after two sessions. This friend won’t tell you wearing matching Tee Shirts to the girl’s night birthday party is lame. She makes them with you, because it’s your birthday, and that’s what you want. If you want to apply for that job promotion, she pushes you to go for it!
You Don’t Need: The Jealous One
This friend might seem ok, but they are (not so secretly) envious of you. Be it about material things, family matters, or career-wise; they’re jealous. They don’t understand why people have such nice things, and you hate bringing up any updates, because it sets them off. They don’t care to know what’s going on in your life, because it will only make them angry or upset. And they’ll remind you of this. This friend might stop talking to you (for a while) once they find out you have a new home, or went on vacation. You only hear that they “can’t stand you”, from the Gossiper.
It sucks, but you can’t let the jealously of others bring you down. It’s a natural human tendency, but people do have the ability to not become discouraged by the success of others, but instead be motivated by it. Unfortunately, this friend doesn’t get that, and would rather enjoy silently hating you for losing 10 pounds, post-baby.
You Do Need: The Optimist
Friends should be uplifting and positive, not someone to weigh you down, or keep you sharing. The optimistic friend isn’t threatened by the success of others. She doesn’t hold herself, or anyone else, to any standard. If you’re doing great, she’s doing great. This friend finds the happy in everything, and if she feels the slightly hint of envy, it’s quickly turned into a (positive) goal. Being genuinely happy for others is her thing, and she’s good at it!
So, I need to just ditch my friends?
No, I’m not quite saying that. I’m just saying, if you have a few of these kinds of friends in your life, and you are on that journey to personal growth; you might want to reevaluate some friendships. Anyone who doesn’t support you, makes you feel inferior, or talks bad about you, might not be worth your time. But, you can try to help them before calling it quits.
Communication is key in any relationship. This goes for friends, too. And if you can’t tell your friend that their gossiping, jealous, negative ways hurt you…there’s no shame in peacefully distancing yourself.
Life is too short to walk on eggshells and feel bad about yourself. Our friends are meant to make the journey of Life more enjoyable, not stressful or sad.
And sometimes on this path of Growth, a few are left behind.