5 Types Of Friends You Don’t Need in Your 30’s

5 Friends You Don’t Really Need Once You Turn 30…

With age comes maturity. With maturity, comes growth. And sometimes, friendships don’t survive the inevitable growth spurt…My 30th birthday is approaching faster than I’d like. But with the realization that a new era is on the brink, I’m reminded of things I’ve learned in the last few years. And, I’m surprised by some of the people who have grown with me…and those who haven’t.

So, this is a list of 5 types of friends I have decided that I don’t need on my journey anymore…and 5 types that I do! Continue reading “5 Types Of Friends You Don’t Need in Your 30’s”

How To Deal With Your Partner’s Opposite Schedule

Does An Opposite Schedule Have You Down?

Trust me, I know the feeling. Marriage always takes equal effort from both parties involved, and that can be even harder when you both have a completely opposite schedule!  But, there’s is hope… Continue reading “How To Deal With Your Partner’s Opposite Schedule”

How My Side Hustle Was Hurting My Marriage, & What I Did To Fix It

My Side Hustle Was Hurting My Marriage

I didn’t know it, but my ambition to bring in more money for the family, was causing more harm than good.  Continue reading “How My Side Hustle Was Hurting My Marriage, & What I Did To Fix It”

Life After Marriage

Life Changes After You Say Your Vows

We pretend it doesn’t, but it really does. And it’s not a bad thing – but just a part of life.
My husband and I have shared many wonderful things, throughout the course of our marriage. And if you asked us a short time after we did it, we probably both would have answered,
“No, everything’s pretty much the same!”
 

But that’s not entirely true

Some things will change. Once you’ve become comfortable, you naturally drop your guard. Then you begin noticing things; Like used Q-tips on the bathroom sink (which makes absolutely no sense, when the trash can is right there!). And that make you never get around to those midnight walks on the beach. Some times you just really want your spouse to just go away…for like, an hour, so you can watch Grey’s Anatomy in peace.

It’s all natural, and there’s nothing wrong with it.

With that level of comfort and realization, you can find a sliver lining. You’re learning more about your partner, and yourself. And still finding ways to connect, and be your own person, at the same time.
But if you think being married is all about romantic candlelit dinners every night, a spouse who never has a bodily function, and remaining in complete agreeance on every subject (never fighting); sorry to burst your bubble, but that’s just not it how it works.
Husband’s are gross. And slobs. And they will argue with you over stupid things. You aren’t going to be drowning in Romance. And even if you did spend every waking moment together, either one or the both of you will want to scream.

But your marriage will survive!

And it can be made to be stronger – just remember that reality isn’t a Disney movie, and sometimes – marriage is hard. And annoying. And totally worth it.
I recently wrote a post on 5 Changes You’ll Experience After Marriage, that goes a little more in depth on this topic, but before I send you to read that – just remember this: The Hollywood Love Story always ends once the credits roll. Your own love story is a thousand times better. You get the real thing. And as disappointing/irritating/suffocating married life can be sometimes… the reality is so much better than what the Big Screen will show you.

What’s something you discovered about marriage that you didn’t expect?

Making A Marriage


The following is a guest post by Brittany Dyer on the topic of Marriage. Marriage, including making one work, means something different to us all. I love her take on the subject, and I hope you do too! Don’t forget to check out her website, Follow The Dyers

My husband and I have been married for 9 years this month. We have 2 beautiful children, ages 2 and 3. Yes, crazy, I know! My background is counseling, but I am currently a stay-at-home mama and pastor’s wife, originally from Tennessee, currently residing in Bangkok Thailand. We love this crazy journey and crazy marriage God has given us.

My husband and I have decided to make marriage a priority. First is God, then comes our marriage. We even place our marriage above our children. With children, this concept is a challenge, however, especially with littles because they are always wanting attention, but we know if we have a solid marriage, then our children will feel more loved and have a good example of what marriage and stability looks like. If my “wife cup” is full, then I will be better able to love my children. Therefore, marriage is our #2 priority in our lives right behind our relationship with God.

How do we keep our marriage solid? Well, we access our needs. We determine what we need from the other partner to feel loved. Despite what some people seem to believe, people evolve, and, therefore, so does marriage. I believe it is a good idea to access your marital needs about once a year to make sure your needs are being met in appropriate ways. This list should not be exhaustive and long, but maybe list the top 3 things each of you needs in your marriage and work toward meeting those few needs well. For example, my Love Language is physical touch, so I need affection from my husband. That need would be discussed when we talk about our marital needs. Let’s be real ladies, our husbands need sex, so be prepared for that one to be on his list! Not only does sex help men feel loved like affection does for women, but they are biologically created for and need sex. Commit to each other to work on these top 3 needs in your marriage, no matter what it is the other person needs.

We try to compliment each other often. Providing compliments builds up the other person’s confidence and self-esteem. It also allows them to feel loved, so make sure you are investing in your marriage by complimenting your spouse!

We talk about our issues. This concept is not always easy, but we try to come to a compromise on issues we fight about, and sometimes getting it off one’s chest can just make you feel better. By talking about a problem, we can usually come to some sort of a conclusion to move on and not continue to be upset about it in the future. This idea is not always foolproof, but we try!

We do not use the past against each other. We do not bring up arguments in the past in order to hurt one another. We do not bring up things in each other’s past that will cut each other deeply. We give each other grace, and we move on after an argument is resolved, and our marriage remains much happier because of it!

We remember the good times. We remember that trip to Florida we went on when we were dating to watch the UT/Florida Game, where I traveled and slept in a hotel room with 3 other guys and never told my family about it. We remember leaving our wedding and driving 1 ½ hours and all the craziness that went along with that drive (think lubricant all over the entire car-thanks to my husband’s buddies!). We remember the good times often and try not to get so caught up in the negative moments of life.

My husband and I keep our marriage exciting by allowing it to be adventurous. We invest in our marriage by going on dates, vacation and doing spontaneous things, even with our children in tow. In addition to the spontaneous things we do, we also have traditions that make life more fun because of the things we look forward to doing. Excitement and adventure keep marriage fun!

We try to forget expectations others place on us. The world places some pretty harsh expectations on marriages. Fairy tales, television sitcoms and romantic comedies all place this ideal man or ideal woman in our head that are completely unrealistic. It is important to realize these are television shows and movies for a reason-they are NOT real life! We have to accept our husbands for who they are and leave the expectations in the movies! Otherwise, we place unrealistic standards and expectations on our husbands that will always leave them falling short to achieve, and we will always be disappointed.

For all of the reasons, I remain secure in my marriage. We can overcome any difficulty in our marriage with the information given above. Enjoy and happy marriages!

Brittany is a pastor’s wife, living in Bangkok, Thailand. She is a former counselor, and now a SAHM to two wonderful children. You can read her blog, about Christianity and Parenting, at her site, Follow The Dyers.

Brittany talks about making her marriage a priority, how to keep things interesting, and overcoming unrealistic expectations