The following is a guest post by Susy Richards. I cannot speak on the subject, being that I have never been in this situation. but she provides some insight on what can be, a tough subject! Being a PARENT isn’t easy, and being a Single-Parent is even harder!
Living The Single Parent Life…
Women never think that once they would witness divorce in their lives. However, sometimes life is not a bed of roses. Staying without a man for a woman means actual freedom although it is covered by the veil of fear and loneliness. But when a woman stays alone with children it’s a different ballgame. In order to face this challenge woman needs maximum courage, persistence, and even heroism.
Single mothers are far not a rarity and even some of them deliberately do not marry anymore. This is a conscious decision and sometimes caused by a lack of suitable gentlemen. After all, single women feel that it is much better to live alone with their children and without their husbands.
Believe me or not, but the time of my life without husband became a wonderful start for self-realization and self-confidence. I do not appeal anyone to file for divorce after reading my post, I just want to help single mommies to benefit from this situation and take a positive look at the life that surrounds them.
So what tips have I learned from being a single Mommy?
- There is no need to cook complex meat dishes anymore that will disappear till midnight. I know many women who spend their evenings near the stove in order to prepare a nice dinner. Kids are not so choosy in food and cooking for them is not hard and takes less time. Experienced mommies can prepare the menu for the whole week gaining some time for themselves.
- Household chores are greatly simplified especially if your children are grown up. There is no need to wash and iron men’s suits, to seek out his socks under the bed or shake the crumbs out the bed. Some men are so dirty that their wives start to relax after leave. (Like meJ)
- Equip your home like the house of your dreams! You never liked this lamp in the form of a soccer ball? Feel free to get rid of it. For example, I added more plants, pictures and radically changed the colors of the walls after divorce. You can create a design that has always attracted you but your husband was against it. From now you are the hostess of the house and you can change everything following your own taste.
- Your life would not witness “His mommy’s” boring conversations and other relatives’ stories anymore! There is no need to smile through force, to bear tips or biting words to your side. You will be able to do household chores as you want and not as “His mommy” wants. After all, your soup is actually much tastier than if it’s cooked according to “her lovely” recipe.
- You do not need to wait for him to come in the evening after his friends’ parties. Seriously.
- More space in the bedroom. Now you can sleep safely on the whole double bed instead of your half’s nestling. No one will pull the blanket, push you during sleep or get up an hour earlier than you need to. In addition, say “hello” to more space on shelves where you can place your clothes, lotions, and cosmetics.
- You do not need to give an account to anyone. You overstayed with friends and came too late? It is enough to pay the babysitter extra or to apologize to your mother. Say “goodbye” to long speeches of a jealous husband. The same situation is with flowers from colleagues or talks with a neighbor.
- You can choose an interesting hobby for yourself and kids and spend less time at home alone. How to start? Just visit theaters, museums, premieres and meet with friends. You can make new acquaintances even through the Internet.
- A visit to a competent psychologist is not scary as it seems. I have visited special psychological groups where divorced women discussed their problems in order to find its solution. Divorce with a husband is a tremendous trauma for any woman. Women experience the feelings of blame, guilt, uncertainty and the destruction of everything that had previously been accustomed. Even friends who have passed through this reality situation cannot give you the advice that an independent psychologist can give. Who wants to bear the burden of a frustration until the end of life?
- In addition, there is freedom of choice in sexual terms. You can forget about thoughts like how to adjust to his mood or how to close my eyes to the fact that I do not like his look. An attractive woman can easily find a nice man to spend a good time. You can control the communication and when you want you can easily write or call and if there is no desire you can just keep quiet and enjoy your loneliness at home.
The Single-Parent Life Can Be Just As Rewarding!
To be honest the lack of money, chronic fatigue and vile men cannot compare to the happiness that kids can give to their mommies. Children are the incentive for mothers’ growth and triumphs! Sooner or later all troubles would pass but your kids will stay with you. For me being a mother is real happiness and rest of the world can envy-I don’t really care!
Susy Richards is a lovely mother of 3 girls (3 years, 4 years and 5) and simple woman who is ready to share her priceless experience with other mommies around the world. She is an Advanced Practice Provider who passed birth doula and postpartum doula courses at Childbirth International in 2013. She is passionate about providing holistic care and is involved in pregnancy research. Susy enjoys trips to the beach with her children, and spending time with family and friends. 😉 She is a fresh mommy blogger and currently publish her articles concerning pregnancy on Rocket Parents.com