What Is Ghosting? How To Tell If You’re Ghosted & What To Do

If you’ve just met someone and suddenly, without notice, discover you aren’t getting any responses back? You could be a victim of ‘Ghosting’ and not know it. What is this new dating trend, and what do you do about it?

What Is Ghosting Someone?

We call it a ‘new trend’ but this act has been around for a long time. There is finally just a name for it. To ‘Ghost‘ someone is to cease all forms of communication. No replies to texts, emails, or snaps. Don’t answer the phone or call back. And no views on social media stories.

Ghosting most commonly happens in the beginning stages of potential relationships and has been on the rise with the introduction of dating apps and social media. But even someone in a (what they thought was) committed relationship can wake up one day and realize their partner has stopped responding to them altogether, completely out of the blue.

Everyone can get busy from time to time, and it’s not uncommon to forget to text or call someone back. It is considered ghosting when no response is received after several days, and no attempt is made to contact back. Don’t feel bad when that uneasy feeling of “Is he/she ghosting me?” comes creeping into your mind. Usually, if you have this thought, it’s after a lot of time has passed and the lack of communication is very obvious.

Why Do People Ghost Someone?

As I mentioned before, the act of going silent has been around forever. Back in the day, we used to just call it “He/She never called me back.” But with a new dating app popping up every month, there has been a significant rise in ‘Ghosting’ activity. No, not the paranormal kind.

The main question, is why?

Just as it’s super easy to swipe right and receive almost limitless opportunities to meet someone new, it’s also incredibly easy to drop someone. The truth is, the “Ghoster” often doesn’t put much thought into the consequences of the action itself, and how it affects the “Ghostee.” They just stop talking and carry on. Oftentimes, those who regularly Ghost people they no longer have an interest in, (especially within dating apps) naturally assume everyone else does the same thing. Therefore to the Ghoster, it’s not a big deal.

It’s natural to learn more about a potential mate and discover that you actually just aren’t that into them. Or, maybe you found someone else and decide to pursue that relationship instead. Whatever the case may be, instead of breaking things off and talking about their decision, Ghosters will stop all forms of communication and simply disappear.

What Does It Mean When I’m Ghosted?

If you haven’t had a fight, argument, or even slight disagreement with said Ghoster, then this entire post is for you. If you can think of a confrontation, then this post is not for you (but we’ll have one soon. Ghosting only occurs when there has been no conflict whatsoever). So Ghostee, it’s not you, it’s them. Really.

You’re probably wondering what kind of person just drops off the face of the Earth and can’t even send a simple “Goodbye” text back. Especially if there wasn’t any friction in your interactions, and everything is copacetic. But that is what people who Ghost do – they just go away, never to be heard from again. Totally randomly!

Ghosting can happen after the first date, or even a year into a relationship. It just happens, and if you know there hasn’t been a fight, argument, or anything out of the ordinary to prompt such a (lack of) response, then I’m sorry to say, you’re a victim of ghosting. But trust me; it’s entirely their own issue and says nothing of you!

Maybe this person has issues with confrontation. Or, they just don’t have a sense of how hurtful the actions of ghosting can be. Or, maybe they’re just a jerk! Whatever the case may be, it’s not your responsibility to decipher it, any more than it was your fault they ghosted in the first place.

What Do I Do About Being Ghosted?

So it’s been a while, and you’re pretty sure you’ve in fact, been ghosted. What now?

• First, don’t be too hard on yourself. People who Ghost do so for their own reasons, and it’s usually nothing you did yourself (or they would have told you and broken things off the normal way). Don’t guilt trip, or wonder what you could have possibly done any different.
• Secondly, don’t keep trying to contact them! If it’s been 3 weeks and you haven’t gotten a single text back, stop texting! Don’t call, email, or comment on their Instagram photos! It won’t make them contact you back any faster, if at all. You’re just hurting yourself, and honestly, giving off some “crazy ex vibes.” Don’t give the Ghoster any ammunition they can use against you to others. Cease trying to contact them, and don’t give them any more attention.
• Third, did you read that last sentence? Don’t give them any more of your attention, or time! That means stop stalking their Snapchat stories, checking Twitter, and liking their Instagram photos. You’ve been ghosted and not to be harsh, but it’s time to move on. Continuing to check up on them after the fact you aren’t talking to that person anymore, is bad for your mental health and will only make you feel worse.

Ghosting happens, but it’s not the end of the world…

It’s true, there really are plenty of fish in the sea. Unfortunately, some of those fish will develop broken fingers and forget how to call someone back-forever.

That doesn’t mean give up on looking for Love…it just means that this particular fish, isn’t for you. And if said fish can’t communicate to you that something isn’t working out, and no longer worth their time, trust me. You don’t want that fish anyway.

You should never try to keep someone around you that doesn’t want to be. If their solution to their own hangups about you, is to ghost you? Let them vanish and make room for someone who wants to stick around.