5 Tips on Learning To Deal With Realities of Your Expectations

The way you handle expectations vs realities,  drastically changes once you have kids.

Before becoming a parent, when it came to events or projects,  I built up my expectation very high.  I wanted “this” to happen a certain way. With a particular outcome. Scenarios were very elaborate with every possibility, and I planned things as much as possible down to the last detail,  to achieve the outcome I wanted.

Granted,  the reality wasn’t always as expected. But usually pretty close.  I could at least deal with the fact that I tried, as hard as I could,  and if I didn’t get the expected results,  then oh well. Always next time & know I have a better understanding of what to expect.
Then I had a baby.

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It’s important to be a couple, as well as a couple of parents

Remember, you aren’t just Parents…

I think the hardest thing about having a baby and becoming parents, is remembering to be a couple.

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Sleepless Nights & Baby Snuggles

Some babies are able to sleep all through the night. Some even 12+ hours.  Not mine.
He is exclusively breast fed, and at the time of this blog post,  going through a growth spurt.  His routine is a simple one:from the time he is laid down for sleep,  I have anywhere between 1-4 hours max before I am awakened by a wet,  hungry baby.
Even after we started solid food,  his appetite had only grown and he requires Mommy’s Milk to get him back to sleep.  Even if it’s only for a few minutes. (I think he mostly needs the snuggles)
So often times,  this mama is getting up at least twice,  if not four times (the absolute worst) between the hours of midnight to six am.  We use cloth diapers, and even the most fool proof “overnight heavy wetter” brands, aren’t able to trick my son.  He can be dry as a bone to the skin… but he knows he peed. “Nuh-uh, change me.”
 
The first few weeks of life,  this is to be expected if a newborn. And considering how often they eat, and need to eat,  very natural.  But after four months,  five months,  six months, everyone else’s baby was sleeping all the way through the night.  Not mine.  We were still up watching Adult Swim cartoons while mama struggled through the next day on four hours of sleep.
My pediatricians only had one thing to say: you can train him. Really?  Not only is my son a night owl,  but since birth is notorious for not being a big fan of naps. We are lucky to get two, one hour naps a day. He’s never seemed sleep deprived – He just didn’t nap much and wakes to eat and change.
“At six months old you can train him to sleep for 16hours.”
Lady,  if you only knew….
I never got any helpful advice on how to accomplish this-all her suggestions on using light/darkness during active/rest times were interpreted as a game,  baths were already regularly scheduled and had no effect,  and the “cry it out” method just created a very mad baby who learned that if he were to just become quiet, I’d peek in to see the furrowed brow of a 8month old who busted me for hiding around the corner.
I eventually decided my Dr wouldn’t last a weekend with my son.
Once I began speaking with other parents, I realized that there are a lot of kids who just don’t sleep through the night. Their normal is to get up at least once. Sometimes for years. They just need a little nursing time,  some snuggles,  reassurance, and then they *do* go back to sleep. Maybe sometimes it takes 10 minutes. Sometimes longer. Sometimes not.
Our babies are only babies for so long. We only get X amount of snuggles and special nursing time together, as mother and child, for so long.
I’m a fortunate SAHM, so I get to spend 24/7 with my baby. I also need my sleep,  but for nine months,  I’ve adjusted everything about my body’s needs to my baby.
Until I can figure out a way he still gets what he needs and I finally get what I need,  I’ll continue to get up every few hours,  drink massive amounts of coffee during the day,  and join him in hour long naps that don’t last nearly as long as I’d like.  If it helps my baby sleep as WELL as he possibly can, I’ll do it.
If you are also like me and find yourself up all hours of the night-you aren’t alone.  When I find a solution,  I’ll be shouting from the rooftops.
If you find it before me,  send it over. With Starbucks.

The fairy tale

Fairy tales do come true,  but its only up to you…
 
Everyone has read them from one time or another. We are all familiar of the beautiful princess, who longed for her knight in shining armor to slay the Dragon, and rescue her from the evil Queen’s castle.
Then you grow up and realize you aren’t anything like the princess you identified with. More like an office girl, working a dead end job, who’s knight is more like a jackass in a Volcom t-shirt. The Dragon isn’t as evil as your boss is on a Monday. And the Queen’s castle is more like a third floor walk up on the Westside of town, with leaky faucets and a strange carpet mold in the closet that NO amount of bleach will kill.
What advantage that you DO have that our fictional muses didn’t,  is that you don’t NEED anyone to rescue you. No one but your self that is.
You have the power inside to change your situation,  no matter what. Everything starts with the will to succeed. Without that,  nothing can be accomplished.  You have to want things to change before they will.
Don’t allow fear to keep you from the things you want. You deserve a better job-a true hero-an awesome home.  But the doubt you carry within yourself is the only thing truly holding you back. A person can be unstoppable with the right motivation and attitude for change.
Find that one goal that you want more then anything. Then focus on how you can achieve that. Never let doubt take over your plans. When you begin to doubt,  your potential is immediately tainted by fear. Remember that no one can succeed without true will power within themselves.
No matter who you are,  everyone has unlocked potential to do whatever They want.  You just have to find it within yourself. When you decide that you aren’t going to let anything get in your way,  Not only do you become unstoppable,  but the world will rise to meet you.
Positivity breeds positivity, and first you have to rely on yourself to provide it. No one else is going to. You must breed it yourself.
Take it from this princess who finally decided she deserves a better life. It takes YOU quitting that crappy job, dumping the loser boyfriend, and getting out on your own, to be able to get exactly what you want out of life. Only when you take matters into your own hands, will you find the career you want, an amazing partner, and the life you deserve.
You have to chase your own fairy tale. No hero is going show up and whisk you away to a better life. Its all within you. Once you are able to harness this, everything changes. And then your fairy tale does come true♡

A child is not a competition

Since when did everyone have to have a better child than the next person? Why have our children become a competition?

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