They say ‘Birds of a feather, all flock together…’ and the older I get the more I can see this as truth.
Everyone has friends and acquaintances in their life, that while you get along with them and enjoy their company, you might not always see eye to eye. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It helps to learn and broaden your horizons to interact with different ideas and thoughts of others.
I have friends who are happily married – I have friends who are single. And then I have friends who do questionable things within their relationship to their spouse. It makes for funny conversation between my husband and I – our own little personal soap opera we can sit back and watch.
“I can’t believe she did that!”
“What do you think he’s going to do?”
Now when I was single, it was easier to listen to the drama, keep secrets, and create alibis. but once I myself was in a committed relationship, eventually what was once entertainment became more disturbing. Especially after my husband became friends with the same people. After a while, I could feel myself distancing from the ones I once considered like family. It wasn’t as funny to go out for a girl’s night, watch who was flirting behind their husband’s back, or cheating on their girlfriend, who was deleting phone numbers and texts like crazy so they wouldn’t get caught.
Sure we would kinda laugh about it, shake our heads and my husband would say, “I’m so glad we are NORMAL.”
But after a while, I felt like I was condoning and even helping support the behavior. Relationships, and even families (and especially when kids are in the mix), suffer when two people are un-loyal and dishonest. It’s a domino effect. You may not even see it happening, but every action causes a reaction, and on down the line.
And it isn’t fair – it’s not fair to the person you are keeping a secret FROM; did they really do anything to YOU for you to not be honest to them about the things you know or even helping to conceal?
And it isn’t fair to you-to be put in a position of keeping someones lies from coming to light.
I’ll keep a secret if I must-but I will also first tell you, “I won’t tell nobody, but my husband don’t count.” Because that is the one person I cannot keep anything from. It even goes against our sacred bond of marriage for me NOT to tell him about my day. And if my day includes helping you tell your spouse you were with me, so they don’t find out you were actually at your “side guy’s” apartment, then that’s what I’m going to say to my husband.
The above scenario drives my point even farther: Its not fair to the one that the cheater convinces to cover them. That person is put in a position of having to betray a trust, one way or another. They either betray their spouse with untold secrets, in order to be a “ride or die” kind of friend. Or they betray their friend by being honest to their partner. Secrets only go so far – and while you’re ready to cover your bestie and help her keep her marriage AND keep some strange on the side, your partner might not be. Why force them to make that choice as well?
I prefer to socialize with honest people. Be it singles or couples. I don’t have any problems within my marriage, and I believe positivity breeds positivity. Just as negativity breeds negative energy. And I don’t want the negative vibes to cross over. So while they are my friend and I love and care about them, I distance myself when they are doing things that they shouldn’t in a committed relationship. If I’m not around as much, I can’t condone. I can’t provide an alibi. I can’t help that way.
If I get those late night calls asking for advice, I can support and try to offer guidance. That feels better than saying, “Go for it! YOLO!” And “Just say you were with me!”
Not only do I want someone to be happy and have a good marriage-but I want it for myself. And if they aren’t willing to work on it, and choose to be unfaithful, then I don’t mess with them as much. It’s the only thing I can do to not only show that I can’t support the behavior; but I also can’t allow it to affect my relationship. I can’t allow myself to be put in the position of choosing who to betray.
I wrote down each name combination that came to mind, immediately. Even if I didn’t like it at the time. It helps to keep you organized, keep track of what you have thought of, and then as you sift through options you might think of more. You may not like one suggestion at first, but reviewing your list over and over, you might find one particular name growing on you before long.
Reading, watching movies, browsing the internet-keep your eyes open for different sources for inspiration that you might not have thought of. Google helped me a lot as I was looking for different avenues in search of a name.
Anyone in the market for a teething/nursing necklace?
I had the wonderful opportunity to review this beautiful teething/nursing necklace made my Larisa Rachkovskiy at Meadoria, and it is awesome!
I’ve tried nursing necklaces before, I made one myself using similar beads and cord, but it was a fail on my part. The cord actually hurt my neck during those lovely yanks that I think all babies MUST do when nursing, and while simple, it just didn’t have much flair.
This is beautifully made with crocheted beads and natural wood. And there’s a variety of colors to choose from (mine is Royal Blue and I LOVE it! Even my husband thought it made more of a fashion statement as well as a practical use). Non-toxic materials (which we all love), and if wood just ins’t your thing, she even has a variety of silicone products to choose from just for kids, and they are super cute!
But the real test? Wearing it with my son, almost ten months old now and very active during feedings. I love how big the beads are, and he gets more sensory play with the crocheted beads, but honestly the best part? It didn’t hurt my neck during those annoying yanks! and unlike my homemade necklace, I could shorten this if needed, or keep it long – and bonus, it looks amazing either way!
And amazingly comfortable – not heavy at all, very, very light.
Knotted at the ends of the beads so you don’t have to worry if it actually becomes untied around your neck, you won’t lose anything. It IS real, natural wood, which has no toxic sealant or lacquer on it. The wood is coated with a blend of organic coconut oil & organic beeswax. You can restore it and keep it in good condition by using olive oil or coconut oil to help keep it’s natural sheen (I prefer coconut.)
And my son loves to play with it! It keeps him well entertained during nursing, and I don’t have to worry about anything toxic getting to him when chewing.
Meadoria has a lot of awesome products as well as this one. I love how the paciclips are designed and kinda disappointed I don’t have a use for them (Bruce has never taken to a paci). Check out her facebook and etsy pages.There’s different styles of necklaces for mom (The pendant teething/nursing necklace is my favorite!), necklaces for kids, burp cloths and blankets, and even hair accessories!
And thank you again to Larisa at Meadoria, for the beautiful necklace and letting me write a review for her! This is one I’m definitely recommending for anyone in the market!
Top 5 Reasons Why I Cloth Diaper!
So if you’ve ever wondered what cloth diapering is, and why it might be an option for you,
I’ve complied the top 5 reasons I chose to go Cloth VS Disposable diapers… Continue reading “Top 5 Reasons Why I Cloth Diaper”