Sometimes, we need little reminders to give not just ourselves, but our partners, a little grace when it comes to this parenting thing.
As I’ve said it many times before, I’ll keep saying it. Being a parent is hard. You spend nine months (or less, depending on when you found out you were pregnant) reading every book, article, and blog post – watching every discovery channel special and youtube video from reputable sources – on how your baby is developing from conception to the point they move out and go to college. You try to mentally prepare for every imaginable scenario, so if anything happens, from a cold to a broken bone, you’ll be able to handle it. You strive to know the most about the human body possible, so you can recognize early onset of anything possible, to ensure that nothing will ever happen to your sweet, precious baby for the next 18+ years….
That’s if you’re a mom. I’m sure there’s some father’s out there who read all the pregnancy and child rearing books with their partners too, so they could be just as well prepared. However, mine was in Russia for his study abroad program for college during my pregnancy. And I’m pretty sure he was only worried about teaching our little boy how to hunt and fish once he’s old enough.
So it’s probably more natural than not to feel uneasy when you see your husband pushing the baby a little too high on the swing (for your over-protective preference), or sneaking him french fries because “he’s had a whole pile of blueberries, baby wants a french fry”(yes, that happened).
It’s also ok to feel angry when you catch your toddler standing on the coffee table while Daddy is playing on his phone.
Feelings are valid, especially when it comes to your child. But it’s important to give not only yourself grace for the little things, but your partner as well. As mothers, we beat ourselves up enough worrying; is my child getting enough exercise? Are his meals perfectly balanced? He only had one nap yesterday, and hasn’t slept today. Is he getting enough rest?
It doesn’t do anyone much good to bless your husband out for giving the baby too many cookies, and allowing him to watch Wrestling, a few minutes over bedtime.
As long as there isn’t any actual abuse taking place, the next time you catch your husband doing maybe the exact opposite of how you would have handled a situation, remember this: Everyone’s parenting style is different. Including your partner’s. What may seem like a big deal to you, might not be to them (and vise versa). Allow Dad to handle things as he see’s fit. It’s all a learning process, and no one – NO ONE – is absolutely right.
And honestly, I can almost guarantee you that as soon as you leave, Dad and Kids are going to do exactly as they want. Especially if they know it’s something you really don’t like ( like say, letting the baby eat espresso flavored ice cream…yes, that happened too).
You are a good Mom. And your child has a good Dad. As long as the family isn’t in danger, then show your partner – and yourself – some grace when it comes to the small details. It’s worth it in the long run.
I have really enjoyed reading this guest post from Shannon, at Traditional Mom, Modern World. I have definitely been at least one, if not several at the same time, of these Mom’s at one time or another. It’s a funny look at the Mother’s who live in the cloth world! Be sure to check out Shannon’s awesome blog, and thank you Shannon, for sharing with us today! This is hilarious!
Cloth Diapering is all the rage.
You see parents from all walks of life showing their support for reusable, eco-friendly diapers. Personally, I’m fascinated with the variety of mothers I’ve seen in the cloth diapering community. Just for fun here’s my list of 5 mothers you’ll probably meet at some point in your cloth diapering career.
The Non-Committed Mom
The Penny Pincher
The Mailman Stalkers
Before you get all defensive…
How do you cloth?
If you enjoyed reading this little list of stereotypes, be sure to share it with your friends. A little laughter can make all the difference in someone’s day!
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I am a firm believer that your husband should also be your best friend.
A best friend is who you share secrets with. You call them when something exciting/scary happens, and you go to them when you need advice.
Why can’t our spouses be just like our friends? http://ctt.ec/2bfwl+ #marriage #love #relationships @jasminea5100
I can tell my husband anything. And I tell him everything. He is my biggest supporter, but also my most honest feedback. If something great (or even terrible) happens, it’s not real until I tell him. Activities are automatically more fun when he’s involved, and he is the biggest stress-reliever. That’s not to say occasionally he isn’t the cause of stress, but when I need things put into perspective, my husband is there.
So many qualities that my husband possesses, can also be found in a best friend (if it isn’t a prerequisite).
And realizing that, got me to thinking about this; how do we choose our best friends?
Well, similar interests, sense of humor, goals…all those things fall into what makes a Best Friend-category. Someone who will support and encourage you, falls into that as well. But, they must also be willing to be completely honest, even if it means saving you from yourself.
So, if your husband, (or fiance, or even boyfriend) isn’t doing any of these things, shouldn’t they be?
A best friend wouldn’t discourage your goals and dreams. They wouldn’t tell you things like, “That’s stupid,” unless it actually is a stupid idea. Like building a giant shoe rack that emcompasses the entire closet, knowing good and well that you are the type of person who will not use it and become frustrated when you have to sort 20+ pairs of shoes from the closet floor. This is what I mean by saving you from yourself. (Yes, this happened)
A best friend wouldn’t tell you not to eat those tacos, “Because you’ll gain weight”. They eat tacos with you. They don’t demand that you not wear makeup, or dress a certain way, or need to know your every move. Best friends don’t suffocate your personal space or try to control you.
Sadly, so many women I know have partners that don’t do what their best friends would. What’s the point of a relationship like that?
My challenge for women everywhere is to replace any statement, or thought, about a subject that their husband or boyfriend might not approve of, and replace “Husband/Boyfriend” with “Best Friend.” If it sounds less than desirable, then maybe it’s time to reevaluate things.
Don’t think I’m secretly planning on breaking people up over this, but honestly; if you found yourself thinking, “Wow, my best friend would never say I’m not allowed to talk to my Mom!” and realized you were talking about your husband…and you find yourself uncomfortable…it might be a red flag. Just saying.
You should never feel afraid to tell your partner anything. Or fear they might be unsupportive. Or angry. Or jealous.
A husband needs to be the same as a best friend-to help you pick yourself up after a fall, to laugh with, to dream. If you can’t spend the rest of your life with your best friend..who can you spend it with?
This post contains affiliate links but all views and opinions are 100% mine. I do not endorse products unless I use them myself and absolutely love them!
Bum Genius Cloth Diapers
Today I want to do a review of one of the more popular cloth diapers on the market, and one I have quite a bit of in my stash: Bum Genius!
Bum Genius was actually the very first cloth diaper I had ever heard of. I marveled at the simplicity of the system: A simple pocket with snaps, or aplix (velcro), with an absorbent insert inside. Now, there are dozens of brands out there, but this name stuck with me, so when I had the opportunity to try them, I did, and here’s what I like about the brand….
|Bruce, showing off his “Jules” 4.0 print|
Multiple styles to choose from
Bum Genius isn’t just limited to simple pockets (which are their 4.0 Pocket which are still on the market, and the new updated 5.0). They also have two different styles of their AiO (All In One) diapers: The BumGenius Freetime and BumGenius Elemental . What’s the difference between these?
The Pockets are lined with a stay dry fabric, and a inner pocket for the inserts. The Freetime however, has two over-lapping microfiber inserts that are sewn to the insides of the diaper, No stuffing! And they are incredibly trim, unlike pocket diapers (which tend to be a little bulky). The Elemental is made with all organic cotton materials, and the insert itself is part of the diaper. Both materials have their own unique absorption abilities-microfiber can absorb quickly (but not a lot of water after a point). Cotton hold’s more water, but can take longer to absorb. The Elemental is also very trim for an AiO diaper. We use Elementals and Freetimes during the day, and 4.0/5.0 pockets at night (so we can double stuff them!)
|A “Mirror” solid color Freetime|
|The inside of the “Freetime” diaper with the mircofiber flaps
|inside of Freetime, properly folded and
ready for baby
The colors and prints are to die for!
Bum genius has a very unique color palette, and their shades do not disappoint! And their prints are super cute, and fun! Bruce has quite the little collection, and with so many to choose from, it makes coordinating outfits so easy!
|He has gotten a little harder to manage for photo shoots – wearing this
limited edition Chelsea Perry print, “Eiffel Tower” 4.0
|At the Great cloth Diaper Change wearing a
White Elemental solid
|He hates having onesies snapped – but it
matches this “Sassy” solid Elemental!
|A “Grasshopper” 4.0
(that’s Mommy’s lipstick on his forehead, promise!)
The fit is great…
but my son has always been chunky. But with the snap rise adjusted, most babies 8-35 lbs can wear any style. The only thing I have noticed about Bum Genius brands, are that the elastics tend to wear out easier with my chunky butt, but replacing them are super-easy and they actually have refresher kits for them (as well as aplix if you have those!).