Ghosting Toxic People; When Is it Paramount To Mental Health?
Do you find yourself surrounded by people who don’t have your best interests at heart? Realizing you are part of an unhealthy, or dysfunctional relationship? How do you know it’s time to begin ghosting toxic people? The answer for better mental health is clearer than you might think.
Ghosting is inherently bad…
As we previously explained, Ghosting is the act of unceremoniously cutting all communications with someone for no explained reason. The nature of the relationship between two parties can range, from internet friends to those in committed relationships. One factor generally remains the same no matter the circumstance; the Ghoster decides the recipient is no longer worthy. Calls go unreturned, emails deleted, and texts left on delivered (which is even worse than on read).
Ghosting a person is one of the cruelest methods of ending a relationship…
It generally says more about the one who seemingly vanishes into thin air, than the person doomed to roam the Halls of Blocked Numbers forever. When there isn’t an act of argument, disagreement, or resentment to point a finger at? The Ghostee is left wondering what they did wrong. The truth? 99% of the time, nothing.
But the 1%? They’ve done something so severe, it validates never speaking again. Not even to explain why this particular person needs banishment to Blockville.
The only time ghosting someone is acceptable is when you decide to remove toxicity.
Ghosting Toxic People
Every relationship starts the same. You meet someone, hoping their intentions are as honorable as your own. Sometimes, not everyone is as honest, or kind-hearted, as we wish.
Which toxic people are worth ghosting?
The red flags of dating a narcissist are easily ignored when blinded by attraction. But once you discover this poisonous trait? It’s natural to want to stop all communication with said person.
A Machiavellian personality can easily manipulate others to gain success. Relationships lack emotional connection. The antithesis of what any kind of healthy relationship should have.
If you’re unlucky enough to become involved with a Psychopath? That’s definitely a person you’ll want to distance yourself from as fast as possible.
These examples make up what is known as The Dark Triad. Bless those who find themselves at the mercy of someone who carries all 3 personality types.
While not everyone is this toxic, people, in general, are strange. You may find that some friends, family members, or potential mates just aren’t good for your mental (or physical)well-being.
Reasons To Ghost Someone
It’s honest and admirable to give an explanation when ending any kind of friendship or relationship. But sometimes, it’s better to cut your losses and move on. Here are a few examples of when it’s generally considered ok to Ghost someone…
- When They Lie – this is a no-brainer. Especially when you’re just getting to know someone. Discover they’re catfishing you online? Lied about texting their ex? Infidelity? If you can’t trust them from the start and catch this person in a lie, just let them go. It’ll save you a lot of heartache down the road. Since they weren’t honest, they are owed no explanation.
- When They’re Inappropriate – Sending unsolicited dick pics? Sexting as soon as you swipe right? Calls you on your business trip for naughty-facetime when you’ve only just met a few weeks ago? Whatever the case may be, if you feel violated then you are violated. If someone makes you uncomfortable, don’t give them the courtesy of an explanation. Blocked.
- When They Frighten You – Do their words leave you feeling on edge, for no particular reason? Maybe you witnessed a violent outburst while not directed towards you, gave off really sketchy vibes? Even when things appear normal on the surface, you can’t help but feel fear when around this person? Trust your gut, and don’t call them back.
- When They Can’t Take A Hint – the relationship is starting to fizzle out, and you’ve given every indication that you aren’t interested in pursuing it anymore. If this person isn’t taking the hints you’re dropping about “seeing other people” or “just needing to focus on yourself” it might be time to just Ghost them. Some people learn the hard way (or, don’t), and you can only repeat yourself so many times. If you’ve completed the “let’s spend time apart” speech, and they still text every day? It’s ok to delete those texts without opening them. If they can’t listen and respect your choice to end the relationship, no further explanation is needed.
There are more reasons to Ghost than you think…
And while we could go further in-depth, let’s summarize for simplicity’s sake. While the end of healthy relationships should always have a conclusion expressed between parties, there is an exception to the rule. If you ever feel threatened or demeaned, it’s ok to Ghost. When you feel your attempts to politely disengage are ignored, you can Ghost. If you are lied to or feel as if you’re being taken advantage of, by all means…Ghost.
Your Mental Health Is Important…
Relationships (friendly and romantic) can be fun; or, emotionally draining, abusive, or just downright boring. Not everyone you meet will click with you, and that’s ok. But it’s not acceptable to sacrifice your mental well-being over hurting someone’s feelings.
If you notice extreme red flags, or that maybe your friend/mate isn’t good for your self-esteem, you have to make tough choices. Those choices don’t always need to be explained if the sacrifice is potentially damaging to your frame of mind (or, physical body).
While none of the aforementioned scenarios can directly point to future abusive situations, they can possibly become mentally exhausting, draining, or damaging over time.
Yes, Ghosting is bad and can be psychologically damaging to those who become ghosted. But there’s an exception to every rule. In some circumstances, (like being lied to, cheated on, or manipulated) one must care for their own mental health over another person.
Not everyone is worth an explanation…
If someone lies to you, you don’t owe them the truth. When you’re afraid of someone, you shouldn’t feel compelled to put yourself in danger for them any longer than necessary. If your words and opinions aren’t receiving proper attention, then you shouldn’t waste breath or mental energy to convey them anymore.
Even ghosting someone you love is hard, but when their interactions have negative effects on your mental health? That’s not good for you. In the end, you’re the only one who can protect your own well-being.
Of course, if someone is abusive you should run, don’t walk, away. Never speak to them again. Whatever you do, do not feel guilty about it.