5 Common Misconceptions About Making Mom Friends

It’s not easy making friends as a mom…

In fact, it can be downright difficult to make Mom Friends!

More often than not, it’s because of the things moms are led to believe about forming their tribe. Things that sometimes, aren’t exactly true…

Let’s explore a few common misconceptions when it comes to making Mom Friends.

girls, firends, buddy
AdinaVoicu (CC0), Pixabay

‘It’s Super Easy To Meet Other Moms…’

More like ‘easier said than done’ in a lot of cases!

Sure, Mothers are literally everywhere! And even before becoming a parent, you’ve probably encountered them by the hundreds.

But being in the right place at the right time, isn’t so simple.

Christie, from Raising Wasians, makes an excellent point… “Making friends requires pursuit, desire and work to make the relationship happen.”

As hard as it can sometimes be, you do need to seek people to create friends. Which can be hard to pull off.

Yes, we see fellow parents at the park, or the doctor’s office. But making that jump from random fellow parent, to potential acquaintance, isn’t easy for every Mom. And, that’s ok.

Identifying your comfort zone, and how you want to walk outside it (or not!) is important.  And if you’re more comfortable finding local parent groups on facebook than striking up random conversation at the daycare drop-off, there’s nothing wrong with that either.

There’s no perfect way to “find a friend” and if you feel like there’s literally no one around… that’s not a crazy notion either. It’s a completely valid feeling.

‘She’s my friend because our kids are friends…’

This is something I think every Mom has been guilty of at least once. I know I have.

While using your kids to find Mom friends can be great, remember this important fact; they’re supposed to be your friend.

You aren’t going to agree with, get along, or even necessarily like every person you meet. Your daughter’s best friend’s Mom, isn’t immune to this.

Of course you should always be friendly and cordial, because we live in a society, and that’s what people do (It goes back to Rule Number One: Don’t Be A D*ck)!

But if inviting that parent to a kid-free coffee date, or a shopping excursion, doesn’t interest you, don’t feel obligated! You can’t force a genuine friendship on anyone, let alone yourself.

Children tend to form friendships based on similarities, such as age or classroom attendance. As they get older, their friendships change depending on interests (like clubs, sports, etc.).

As Moms, we sometimes forget this – especially when we desperately need someone who is at the same stage in parenting. We need support to get through those tough parenting days. And, it helps to have a friend who gets you, your struggle, and can help.

But just because your kids are in the same class, both play football, and live on the same street – it doesn’t mean you’re doomed to be their parents best friend too.

As Erin of Ma Of All Trades puts it, “You don’t have to settle for being friends with someone just because your kid likes their kid, or your kids are the same age.”

Just keep it casual and classy, for the kids sake. And who knows, a real friendship may blossom! But if you really don’t like that person and you just can’t click, don’t lose sleep over it.

‘I’m too old to make friends…’

No. Wrong! You’re never too old to make mom friends!

Whether you’re a new Mom or a seasoned veteran, you can make friends of any age. They can be fellow Mothers, or not!

Age doesn’t really mean much. There’s nothing wrong with having friends younger or older than yourself. Again, adults make friends usually based on interests, not circumstance.

You may meet each other at the same school your kids both attend. or shop at the same store and find yourselves in the produce asile often.

But your friendship can be built upon your mutual love of the awesome deals on asparagus that keep you both coming back…or the mutual hate of the school soccer coach.

And those expressions, may lead you to the discovery that you both enjoy Wine and Canvas, and a friendship is born.

Notice how I didn’t mention an age gap at all? Because it’s a moot point!

And like Markie of My Life As Mrs.Cooks points out, don’t believe “That you can’t make friends with a mom that doesn’t have children in the same age group as your children. ” It’s just not true!

‘I don’t need friends…’

This is a very common, and heartbreaking statement that many Moms make.

Usually because our families, our careers, and our sanity, take up most of our time. Friendships can die off if not engaged enough. It’s hard to make new friends, sometimes.

And it’s at this point a Mom can make this decision. That she just doesn’t need friends. She only needs her family.

Deanna, from Love And Scribbles, sums it up best; “… I thought I could do this mom thing all by myself.. umm nope! Haha ” … and she’s right!

While our families are important, you really do need friends. Also keep in mind that you need the right friends.  You need people to share your wins with. Discuss future plans. Vent frustrations to. And, just have fun with!

During the postpartum phase, it’s the most important time to not only have friends, but check on those that you do have.

Friends aren’t replacing your family, and when you’re in situations where your husband might not be the best person to ask certain advice of, friends help!

Although, I do think your husband should be your best friend, sometimes, he’s just not enough!

Especially when you need a Mom friend who can offer sound advice with your toddler…or assure you that no, you aren’t crazy.  That other Mom was wanting to talk to you.

‘Other Mom’s Won’t Like Me…’

This is another thing I hear many Mothers admit when it comes to making Mom Friends.

They believe because of their personality, parenting style, or interests, that it’s impossible to make real friends.

First off, anyone who judges you because of your parenting choices, isn’t worth having as a friend.  And if you are turning your nose up at that Mom who brings store bought cookies to the girl scout meeting, then you’re not a very good potential friend either.

Hey, #sorrynotsorry, but let’s remember Rule Number One (Don’t be a d*ck!).

But common courtesy aside, it’s not uncommon to feel like you just aren’t going to appeal to other Moms! And that’s ok!

The truth is a lot like Tasheena, from The Cinnamon Mom put it. “In reality, we’re all self-conscious and getting a conversation started is awkward, but it’s always worth it once you get to know each other!”

Lots of people mask their insecurities with a stone-face, short sentences, or just withdrawing in general. Be kind to them all…because breaking through that barrier just might lead to a great friendship!

girls, lesbians, best friends
Free-Photos (CC0), Pixabay

You are worthy of friends, and you need friends…

But you don’t have to believe all the myths and misconceptions about making Mom Friends.

And you don’t have to force yourself into any situation or arrangement in order to have a friend.

Your tribe needs to be built of people you connect with. It’s easier for some than others, but always worth it.

You Are Worthy Of Mom Friends Free Printable

**Want This Free Printable To Remind You of How Worthy You Are? ***

Common Misconceptions About Making Mom Friends #momlife #motherhood #relationships #parenting

Author: Jasmine

SAHM to one little boy, and wife to a former member of the USMC. I blog about parenting, relationships, brands I love, and product reviews!

6 thoughts on “5 Common Misconceptions About Making Mom Friends

  1. “You are worthy of friends”This is something that I still struggle with. I may need to just print that out and put it on my mirror!

  2. Not only do I have problems making friends, but keeping them as well. Making friends as an adult is so hard and I do honestly feel like I don’t deserve them.

  3. I have a hard time making friends with my oldest sons friends mom’s because I am much younger than most of them.A lot of them are super sweet, but others make me feel uncomfortable and make themselves feel unapproachable.

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