It Takes Two To Run A Household…

While traditional gender rules suggest otherwise, the challenge of ‘keeping it all together’ doesn’t solely fall on the Mother. Family and Household Responsibilities are everyone’s…well, responsibility!

Yet, most Mom’s who decide to commit to remaining at home, get the most flack. Usually, from their spouse. Here’s why it’s unfair for Mom to shoulder all the responsibilities with chores, child rearing, and criticism.

Being a “Stay at Home Mom” doesn’t mean you’re not working…

Although if you have a traditional Husband who works outside the home, he’ll beg to differ.

It’s very common for Men to have the mindset of, ‘I work so she can stay at home all day.’ And the expectation in return, is that anything on the homefront, is her responsibility.

But Mom isn’t just chilling on the couch with a bag of chips, as so often implied…most of the time. She’s cooking, cleaning, carpooling, and raising the children. Mom is balancing checkbooks, mending play clothes, and organizing desk spaces.

She’s keeping an entire household going – AND listening to her husband’s hard day at work. Most of the time, while he relaxes and she’s still working on completing some chore!

Working Mom’s aren’t immune.

As well as play cook, housekeeper, chauffeur, and child development specialist, Mom is working a part time or (full time) job!

She’s doubling as financial advisor, seamstress, and office assistant – in her own home! With a mountain of responsibilities she’s handling all on her own, the Working Mom is expected to “Work, and take care of the kids. Work and cook. Work and clean…”

And Dad often wonder’s why his partner is always so tired…

This is how problems are created.

When one partner in a relationship begins to feel burdened and unappreciated, it’s a recipe for disaster.

Animosity, resentment, arimony – all ways to describe how a Mom might feel at the end of the day when she isn’t getting the support she needs. Support such as appreciation and assistance, both psychically and emotionally.

Financial support isn’t everything – but having someone to help get the necessary things done, goes a lot farther.

Not only is it better for Mom’s well being, but it actually strengthens the relationship for Dad to help out around the house. It’s been proven that couples who share chore responsibilities are happier!

How To Make Change…

If you’re a Dad reading this, and realize you could be helping out more, or a Mom who realizes she’s not getting enough help. Rest assured, you can easily fix the issue.

First, open up the lines of communication. There’s nothing wrong with letting your spouse know, “Hey, I need some help around here!” It doesn’t matter if you work outside the home, or not. If you feel exhausted doing all of the things, reach out for some help…from your partner.

If you notice your partner seems overwhelmed, or just realize you haven’t pitched in like perhaps you should, ask them! “Hey, what can I help you with?” Yes, some people aren’t naturally inclined to allow assistance. But even if they don’t accept it, just knowing that you offered to lend a helping hand, goes a long way.

Make A Schedule

Sometimes, splitting responsibilities helps in major ways. Work out a weekly task schedule and split up the days.

Make Mondays, Wednesdays, and Friday’s, Dad’s turn to do dishes. Mom can only wash laundry on night’s that start with a T.

While everyone does have a different work schedule, there’s ways with a little imagination, to evenly split chores in the best way possible, so one person isn’t handling absolutely everything.

Do It Together!

Going back to strengthening your relationship – while chores aren’t fun, it’s a great way to spend time together. And, complete them faster, but let’s focus on spending that quality time together!

Have a laundry party while everyone, including kids if they can, folds that clothes pile together. You can cut dishwashing time in half by working with your spouse to clean up the kitchen.

However you decide to evenly distribute (as much as possible) the responsibilities of the household, remember this. Marriage takes two people to make it work – both giving 100%. That includes chores, child rearing, and everything in between.

And just because Dad works 40+ hours a week at his job…doesn’t mean Mom should be working 24/7 at all of her various positions.