How To Deal With Your Partner’s Opposite Schedule

Does An Opposite Schedule Have You Down?

Trust me, I know the feeling. Marriage always takes equal effort from both parties involved, and that can be even harder when you both have a completely opposite schedule!  But, there’s is hope…

My husband has an opposite schedule than my own…

Where my day typically begins at 6am…he’s just getting off work. When I’m getting someone up from a nap, he’s finishing off his “night” of sleep. What should be a family dinner, is my husband’s breakfast before he begins another work day. And I go to bed alone most nights.

For many couples, this is reality. Sometimes, because of work schedules, or even the first few months having a newborn, you may go through phases (which can turn into normal facts of Life) where your spouse might feel like a roommate. A roommate you only see for a few hours a day, at totally weird times. Then you’re usually by yourself (or with the kids). For us, it began with the birth of our son. Nighttime feedings kept me up all hours of the night, and it was as if I lived an entirely different scheduled than my husband. Now as we approach our son’s second birthday, he’s actually had his work schedule change altogether – a 10pm to 6am shift. I literally only really see my husband for about 5 or 6 hours a day, total. He crashes as I’m getting breakfast ready. He’s out the door by the time dinner dishes are clean.

So while other couples are binge watching tv (once our favorite activities), I’m catching up on Bachlorette episodes all by myself. On the other hand, I don’t have to fight for the remote, and the few hours he’s home in the afternoon, I can run errands with the kid and cook dinner in peace.

So, if you also find yourself with the total opposite schedule of your partner, here’s some tips and tidbits that have helped me deal with this transition, and adjustment to our family life.

Tips For Dealing With An Opposite Schedule Than Your Partner…

  • Embrace The Change

Change is good, and when it’s inevitable ans unavoidable (like work related scheduling differences), it’s best to just go with it. The quicker you embrace the change, the easier it will be. Having an opposite schedule than your partner is frustrating, but the sooner it’s accepted, the faster everything else will fall into place.

  • Find Your Biggest Chore Priorities and Take Care Of Them

You want to make the most out of the time you will have with your partner, once your opposite schedule days do intersect. So figuring out those major daily chores and tasks will help so much in the long run. If you can accomplish those in the time your spouse is either at work, or sleeping during their “night time”, you won’t be burdened or distracted when you should be spending time together. I try to get the major cleaning and organizing of the day done first, before going out, so when I’m home and my husband is awake, it can just be family time. That way a load of laundry, or the post office, isn’t calling my name.

  • Enjoy Doing Your Own Thing On Your Own Time

So you’ve gotten the big chores out of the way, kids are in bed, and you’re up by yourself at night? Enjoy those chick flicks without male commentary ruining the important scenes. Read a good book you’ve left on the shelf because you’re usually spending time with your husband. One positive part of having an opposite schedule, is the time you will have for just yourself. Think of it this way; while some couples pine for their own space and time, you have it. So as unfortunate as it is, use it. Once that schedule changes, you’ll miss it.

  • Take Advantage Of Family Time

So after you’ve suffered all week, once those weekends hit-it’s all about together time! Avoid the chores and To-Do lists (if possible) and use the time to have fun;this is what you’ve been waiting for all week! Family activities, day trips, fun projects-whatever you’ve been missing while your partner is on their opposite schedule, can be done during the weekend days off. Spend time together catching up and bonding, and leave the mundane chores alone…you’ll have the rest of the upcoming week to do that. It’s time to reconnect.

Having an opposite schedule is hard in a relationship

But sometimes, we all have to do things we may not necessarily like, in order to get things done. Finding positive notes, and figuring out what works best for everyone, is key.

Do you have a similar schedule to your spouse, or do you live like roommates who occasionally share a few hours together? What’s a good tip you can share on how to make it work?

How To Deal With Your Partner's Opposite Schedule

Author: Jasmine

SAHM to one little boy, and wife to a former member of the USMC. I blog about parenting, relationships, brands I love, and product reviews!

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4 thoughts on “How To Deal With Your Partner’s Opposite Schedule”

  1. Sounds difficult! I like how you put a positive spin on this challenging situation. I’m thankful my husband and I have a similar schedule. I do daycare dropoff, and he does pick up. We rotate chores and try to split things fairly. Occasionally, we take over all the family duties so we can do our on thing. It works pretty well.

  2. This is a really well-written post. I love the part about embracing the alone time without “male commentary!”

  3. My husband’s schedule has always been slightly unpredictable. Now that my kids are a little older, I don’t mind as much, but it was HARD when they were babies and I wasn’t sleeping. I give mad kudos to the couples who have completely opposite schedules.

  4. We used to have opposite schedules and it was nice to have a few hours to catch up on life at the end of the day. Now that we at least have one day off together, we try and tackle our chores the day or night before so we can enjoy the day together. Great advice because it can be tough sometimes.

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