“Our Love Challenges” Interactive Scrapbook for Couples

Our Love Challenges: An Interactive Scrapbook for Couples

After so many years of marriage, I can be honest in saying that new date ideas can be hard to find. But if you’ve fallen into the “groove” of needing more date suggestions, or even looking for the perfect gift for that special someone, then check out Our Love Challenges and their Kickstarter program! Continue reading ““Our Love Challenges” Interactive Scrapbook for Couples”

How To Deal With Your Partner’s Opposite Schedule

Does An Opposite Schedule Have You Down?

Trust me, I know the feeling. Marriage always takes equal effort from both parties involved, and that can be even harder when you both have a completely opposite schedule!  But, there’s is hope… Continue reading “How To Deal With Your Partner’s Opposite Schedule”

How My Side Hustle Was Hurting My Marriage, & What I Did To Fix It

My Side Hustle Was Hurting My Marriage

I didn’t know it, but my ambition to bring in more money for the family, was causing more harm than good.  Continue reading “How My Side Hustle Was Hurting My Marriage, & What I Did To Fix It”

Things To Remember About Postpartum Intimacy

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Have you just had a baby?

You’re probably still dealing with a lot of changes! A new little person living in your home. Healing from childbirth. Getting used to the “new you” that is inevitable after becoming a Mother. All of this is perfectly natural! And you will be (as close to as, anyway) back to your old self soon. But one question you may be asking yourself… can I still have intimacy, while in the postpartum stage?

The answer is yes. Here’s some things to keep in mind, and tips to help out…

You still need time to heal and adjust

For some couples, it’s the first thing next to having a alcoholic drink for the first time in nine months, that you want to do. But slow down! It’s recommended that you wait at least six weeks (if you had a vaginal birth, 8-10 weeks for a cesarean) and get approval from your Doctor, before becoming intimate again. That’s because you still have a lot of recovery to do. The risk of infection is still present, and it probably won’t be entirely comfortable. If you had an episiotomy, or cesarean section, you also need to wait for those sutures to heal completely. Not to mention, that you will want to be on some kind of reliable birth control! Be safe, and wait for your Doctor to give you the A-OK, before you attempt intimacy again.

Every Mother’s Recovery Time Is Different…

Remember that when you have a baby, you have done something incredibly extraordinary with your body (and mind). Plus, your hormones are going haywire, not to mention the psychical and mental strength it will take to care for a newborn. So if you aren’t quite ready to return to intimacy, then don’t. Having postpartum relations can be an awkward, undesirable experience if you don’t feel up to it. Maybe you’re overtired, burnt-out on baby snuggles to think about anyone else touching you, or just not comfortable with yourself yet. It’s ok! Give yourself, and your partner, the opportunity to adjust to this new chapter called parenting, and the rest will come. If it’s been a while, and you’re genuinely worried about your lack of desire, it never hurts to talk with your doctor.

Be comfortable with yourself & don’t worry about criticism

One of the hardest things a Mother will encounter during the postpartum phase, is becoming acquainted with her post-baby body. You spend nine months growing a tiny human inside you, and then have to readjust to life with that human finally outside of you. So don’t be surprised that even months after you’ve had your baby, you don’t look quite like you did before pregnancy. Spoiler alert – you aren’t supposed to! You just created, and delivered, a tiny human!! That’s not to say you may never get your bod back to it’s original glory. But don’t feel like it’s a rushed, or unattainable goal. And frankly-so what if it is? Doesn’t change the fact you can be are a beautiful woman.

Many women don’t feel comfortable with their bodies after having a baby, and worry what their partner will think. But this is the thing – your partner will never see the “flaws” you see. Your partner still thinks you are smokin’ hot. So if you’re ready to become intimate again, don’t let your perception of your post-baby body hold you back. Because your partner certainly won’t.

And if by a slim chance they do, then stop and reevaluate your relationship. Because you deserve way better than someone who will criticize your Mommy Pooch (I have one!), stretch marks, or a little extra junk in the trunk.

 Postpartum Intimacy Is Nothing To Be Afraid Of

You’ve gotten through the long trial of pregnancy, and you’re readjusting to life with a new baby. If you’re healed, rested and de-stressed, and ready for intimacy again-go for it! Just because you’re a parent, doesn’t mean you aren’t human anymore. 



Things To remember About Postpartum Intimacy

Life After Marriage

Life Changes After You Say Your Vows

We pretend it doesn’t, but it really does. And it’s not a bad thing – but just a part of life.
My husband and I have shared many wonderful things, throughout the course of our marriage. And if you asked us a short time after we did it, we probably both would have answered,
“No, everything’s pretty much the same!”
 

But that’s not entirely true

Some things will change. Once you’ve become comfortable, you naturally drop your guard. Then you begin noticing things; Like used Q-tips on the bathroom sink (which makes absolutely no sense, when the trash can is right there!). And that make you never get around to those midnight walks on the beach. Some times you just really want your spouse to just go away…for like, an hour, so you can watch Grey’s Anatomy in peace.

It’s all natural, and there’s nothing wrong with it.

With that level of comfort and realization, you can find a sliver lining. You’re learning more about your partner, and yourself. And still finding ways to connect, and be your own person, at the same time.
But if you think being married is all about romantic candlelit dinners every night, a spouse who never has a bodily function, and remaining in complete agreeance on every subject (never fighting); sorry to burst your bubble, but that’s just not it how it works.
Husband’s are gross. And slobs. And they will argue with you over stupid things. You aren’t going to be drowning in Romance. And even if you did spend every waking moment together, either one or the both of you will want to scream.

But your marriage will survive!

And it can be made to be stronger – just remember that reality isn’t a Disney movie, and sometimes – marriage is hard. And annoying. And totally worth it.
I recently wrote a post on 5 Changes You’ll Experience After Marriage, that goes a little more in depth on this topic, but before I send you to read that – just remember this: The Hollywood Love Story always ends once the credits roll. Your own love story is a thousand times better. You get the real thing. And as disappointing/irritating/suffocating married life can be sometimes… the reality is so much better than what the Big Screen will show you.

What’s something you discovered about marriage that you didn’t expect?