Life is too short to spend trying to keep yourself on everyone’s good side.
It doesn’t matter who you are; someone is going to have a problem with you. Be it in your work, family, circle of friends, It’s impossible to please everyone. Even if you try your best.
Believe me, I’ve tried.
There’s always going to be some coworker that is going to ruffle your feathers. Especially if you are in some sort of management or supervisor position. Even in job positions where you mostly work by yourself, there’s always someone who isn’t going to meet eye-to-eye with you over some little thing.
Families don’t always get along. And even if they do, there’s going to be some discourse from time to time. Your friends aren’t always going to agree with you, and may even get offended when you chose other priorities over them. Such is life.
The key is to try making yourself happy – not stretching yourself so thin just to accommodate everyone else.
If I don’t have time to pick up another coworker’s slack, if it doesn’t affect my work, then it might not get done. If I decide to have my son’s birthday party in my home, and invite whomever I want to it, it’s not going to be my problem if one person decides they don’t want to attend because they have issues with another family member. That’s their loss, not my son’s, or myself. If I can’t make the wine tasting because my responsibilities to my child come before ‘gossip time’ with my buddies, then so be it.
It does not do anyone any good to be a doormat. When someone is angry at you for not bending over backwards for them, ask yourself…would they really do the same for me?
As long as it isn’t something life-threatening, or extremely important (such as rescuing a stranded person on the side of the highway, or agreeing to pick up a kid from school when emergencies come up), then it’s okay to feel like you can’t commit to every little thing that people want you to do. The people who are true in your life will never hold it against you.
While I might not pick up an extra shift on my off days because someone “Just doesn’t feel like coming in,” or maybe I won’t agree to extravagant locations for family gatherings so it’s easier for people to not talk to each other, or even if I don’t leave the baby with Daddy so I can be the “wing (wo)man” with a single friend as they flirt with the cute guy who bar tends at the club pool, know this…
When you’re in a car accident and late for shift change, I’ll keep things going until we hear you are ok. I’ll check on you and make sure you are spoken to at Christmas time, and don’t feel left out. I’ll hear you cry about the bartender after the nasty breakup, and give you a shoulder to lean on.
I’ll be there when it’s important. I just can’t be there every. Single. Time. Because life is just too short to keep everyone happy all the time.