“You have to be willing to give up everything you love when you have children…”
Making sacrifices is a big part of being a parent. It just kind of goes with the territory – you find yourself without the time to do a lot of the things you enjoy; like going out, bar hopping, the movies, coffee dates, sleep…
“But isn’t it rewarding?”
Oh, very much so. BUT this isn’t going to be one of those posts. There’s enough of those kinds of blogs on the internet, and that’s one of the things that seems to be engraved into the psyche of new parents as soon as the test reads ‘positive’.
Children require a lot of sacrifice.
Looks like you won’t have time for that*anymore…. (*insert any hobby here you would like)
Just because you have children, the person you were before doesn’t have to die, and you don’t have to give up EVERYTHING you enjoy doing. Hobbies and Social Events just may be placed on a back burner-you may find that weekly Girl’s Night Out turns into Once A Month Catch Up (When I Have A Sitter), and binge watching the new season of “Orange Is The New Black”, isn’t possible to accomplish in one night because as soon as baby is asleep, you are also asleep (you are gonna give up a lot to be able to sleep, tbh).
But its important to find the time to do things for yourself. You’ll be a well-balanced, better parent if you do. Everyone needs a break. Post-partum depression is very real and sets in at different intervals for different people. For some moms (and dads, let’s not exclude you either! ) the first few weeks can be an absolute nightmare. For others, it may not be until you reach the six month mark that you find yourself locked in the bathroom trying to find a few moments sanity somewhere under the sink because it’s 4am and the baby is teething and you simply. Cant. Anymore.
Support is key. And finding the time to just “turn off” and enjoy the little things, like a trip to the grocery store alone, or meeting with girlfriends for one evening out, is a great tool to take the edge off things. Unfortunately, the fact of sacrifice is so forcefully shoved down new parents throats, that most forget that it’s ok to escape for a few hours and be yourself for a little while.
I’m not condoning never spending time with your kids. I think everyone knows of those few parents who are always gone and leaving their babies with someone else, be it family or babysitters. I myself was even guilty at one point of passing judgement on an acquaintance who left a newborn with grandma to party two weeks after delivery.
“Well I would never, that time is so important for Bonding, and they are only brand new for so long! “
But again-this may have been exactly what that mother needed. Maybe myself and the husband shouldn’t have waited six months to have our first post-baby date night (which was only three hours long and consisted of constantly checking our phones for missed calls and wondering if baby was ok. Needless to say it ended early). Who is to say which Behavior is better than another.
Having children is time consuming, expensive, and forever worth it. But as important as it is to give up certain lifestyle choices, it’s just as important to keep doing the things you love as much as you can, to keep you happy and give yourself clarity.
Having a baby doesn’t mean you have to give up being a person-it just means your schedule and routine changes. The importance of things change order. But it doesn’t mean you have to give it up.
….. unless it’s drugs. Then by all means,
Give up that.